The toll of all the anxiety over the past two days has effected me more than it perhaps should. I still feel nauseous at times and my appetiete has decreased significantly due to said nausea. I haven’t done as well as I would have liked today, I managed to almost ignore the compulsions ( with the exception of avoiding touching a certain food at dinner among other avoidance compulsions).
Today I feel…well that’s the problem, I’m honestly not sure. I don’t feel just stressed or sad – though those feelings still linger. I certainly don’t feel happy but I don’t feel numb. I just feel confused. A haze of emotional confusion unlike anything that I can remember clouds my mind. I don’t know how to deal with how unsure of my feelings I am.
I spent my second day of OCD rehab taking my brother out on his scooter, watching a James Bond movie and going driving with my Dad. I didn’t particularly like driving today, I’m still a learner and whilst I did semi-okay – it was rather stressful. I have homework I need to do tomorrow and I can’t find the will-power to do it contributing to the feeling that I am trapped.
Much like my feelings, I don’t know how to conclude this post so I will instead post tomorrow when my thoughts and opinions are less convoluted.