Blog

Knowing My Limits.

Dear Diary, I’ve come to the realisation that I’m not doing great at a subject I’ve been sudying for a year. I don’t want to quit it as I may aswell carry on to potentially recieve a pass but I’m not feeling great about it. I keep thinking ‘I should have studied more’, ‘I should […]

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Sleep, Mental Health And ASMR

Dear Diary, Between school, stress, mental health issues and general life – sleep has been a bit of a struggle and I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been struggiling with it. After weeks of going to bed late and waking up annoyed in the middle of the night needing to pee – […]

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Difficult Thoughts

Dear Diary, Trigger Warning: If you are experiencing dark thoughts please don’t read further. To give some context; I have an implant placed in my arm to stop my period, which worked up until a few months ago. I’m now going through my monthly cycle once more and all the hormones and emotions of this. […]

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To Make A Choice To Try

Dear Diary, I had a choice today; a simple choice that could make a huge difference in my life. I’ve been feeling like I don’t want to be here anymore for a few weeks now (not suicidal – just a wish to not exist). A feeling that if there was a magic button and I […]

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Feeling Bad

Dear Diary, Things feel for lack of a better word – weird. My OCD is not great and my depression is suffering right now. I don’t feel right and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m drowning in uncertainty. I feel like I can’t breath and like any second I’m going to crumble into […]

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Recovering From A Low

Dear Diary, After my epic birthday I crashed. Not as far as I sometimes go, but far enough to cause disturbance in my life. My OCD and insecurities have been terrible so much to the extent that I wouldn’t reply to an e-mail giving my photo and getting included in the school yearbook…yeah, I’m not […]

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My 18th Birthday

Dear Diary, Yesterday, or rather a few hours ago was my 18th birthday and I had an amazing time! This is my second birthday in lockdown and yet it was incredible. I woke up feeling really excited and then I was wished happy birthday by my grandparents (socially distant of course) and I returned home […]

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Sensory Problems

Dear Diary, I’ve been having what I think are sensory problems. My back, face and neck particularly are a soruce of great distress for me at the moment. My back feels especially uncomfortable and it being at a place that I can’t see and touch without a back scratcher or a mirror is only adding […]

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I Feel Defective

Dear Diary, DISCLAIMER: This is going to be a very depressing post. I’m feeling very negative surrounding my autism and differences. Today I feel bad. I feel guilty for saying this because it’s not very positive but it’s how I am currently feeling and so I’m going to share it. I feel like a mistake […]

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To Miss Out On A Normal Childhood For Whatever Reason

Dear Diary, On the 27th of March 2021 I will turn 18 years old – officially an adult and I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand I’m excited to get birthday presents and cake. On the other, I feel a deep sadness. The sadness doesn’t stem from the fact that this is […]

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